A year ago, first week of July 2010, I was taken to the ER with about a pint of blood in my body, or whatever you need to get through part of a night and not a whole lot more. My driver, sister, was told that I might not have made it through the night, it was a good thing she brought me in when she did. Well, I made it through the night and the next few days. With transfusions of blood, blood products, everything they could and my broken down body would handle.
The doctors said I was terminally ill, I had days maybe weeks to live. My liver had shut down. My blood was unable to clot. The list of things wrong I didn't understand. What I did know was that when my hemerhoids started to bleed they B-l-e-d. Like I would fill the toilet everytime I went to the bathroom. I had heard people say that their hemerhoids bled enough to fill the bowl {shrug}. I didn't know one way or the other. But, I had been feeling poorly for quite a while. I had been to a doctor and the same ER within months of this happening to me.
Well, I made it home from the hospital after ten days or so. Then I was back in the hospital after bleeding out two days later. The doctors gave me a few weeks, maybe months. Again, I stayed in the hospital for eleven days and was released. I was huge, close to 200 lbs, and I just did not understand what was going on. Dying, they told me. No I thought, why? Why me? Oh, I could think of a lot of "Me's" and "Why's" that God can come back to me with. I knew of at least two people that wouldn't be sad, actually a lighter and happier day, they probably can't imagine.
So, then it was like, "Okay, how much bargaining do I get? any?" Then, "what do I do? the kids? what do I do?" A panic sets in but hell if I could just concentrate on something positive. Okay, cruise, I really want to go. Why not? Maybe if I tell Oprah. I'm not even forty, I've never spent more than a few days with all three kids. My sorta-but-not-really-ex and his family had the kids at least two if not three vacations a year. Single-mom working, couldn't take a break, lucky to have a job...
The doctors told me I was dying, but now I was expected to make it six more months, maybe a year. I decided that I wasn't going to die. It wasn't right. My children are teenagers and my boyfriend needs me. It just didn't make sense, I was not this old person who may have or have not lived a full life. I was determined to "go home." I kept saying I was going to go home and travel with my kids and Chris. Plus, I hadn't done it. It? Well, there has got to be something. I am here a year after they gave me days maybe six months to live. I am alive and very well. Getting stronger everyday. Looking for whatever the something is.
I have started to celebrate my one-year re-birthday. I took a trip to Zilker Park Botanical Gardens, by myself in my power chair. Called first to check if they accomidate wheelchairs. It went so well that two days later, I took the Austin Duck Adventures. Which is a tour around Austin, Texas, where I live, giving historical site information and Texas Capital history. First as a bus tour, then as a boat tour. Lots of fun. Again, by myself. But, doing it. I can't wait to go with someone.
I have other things tentatively thought out, some scheduled, some impossible dreams (the Dinner Detective at the local Hotel, $60.00 per person includes three course meal). I am taking pictures and posting them on facebook. I hope to post the pictures and some videos on this site (Did a chicken come into our garage and poke me in the eye? What kind of whisperer is Chris? Rather, thinks he is, as told to him by friends.).
I have made contact with, sounds very Steven Spielberg, friends from my high school past (I went to an all girl Catholic boarding school.). They look EXACTLY the same, I think Lauren was wearing the same shirt twenty years ago. Are they posting old photos for now? Bad girls. Damn, I can't, I look better now {tee-hee-hee}.
Well, I don't have to worry about getting shot or poisoned, 'cuz they told me what will kill me and roughly when {snicker}. I already outlived 'em. I want to thank my fan for patience. I have several things I have been working on and there will be extra new soon. Kool! -kt
